wrong impressionWhen I was in Secondary, i rmb someone telling me: "You look much better when you smile." That is true of cos~ bcos i think everybody look much better when they look happy. However i didn't hear what followed or was hidden behind that sentence: "Because you look very fierce when you don't smile."
It took me quite a few years to realize that, that when i have no expression, i look very fierce. Well.... i thought it was ok. Looking fierce only mah.... no harm right?
But it took me another few years to realize that, some pple don't just interpret it as looking fierce. Some thought i was unhappy, was pulling a long face, was angry, was unfriendly, blahblahblah. Just becos i didn't make the effort to flex some face muscle, pple got the wrong impression. And i'm terribly disappointed with those who just made assumptions without even trying, or refusing to find out if they were true.
Many reasons as to why I cant even be bothered to have any expression. Sorrow, anger, and being troubled are the obvious ones. Deep in thought, stressed, tired, feelings which totally have nothing to do with anybody around me, are the ones which failed to cross pple's mind usually. Sometimes there are just moments when u feel like not talking to anibody, feel like being alone in your comfort zone, feel like not having to smile when u dowan to. Right??? I guess I was wrong in the sense that i showed this 'moment' when i shouldn't have.
It's not easy to hide. Because i didn't mean to show this 'black face' in the first place. Especially so when my mind is full of other thoughts instead of being conscious of how i looked. But since everyone else can 'hide' those moments, my inability to do so puts me at fault i tink.
I am terribly sick today. There were a few moments that my head started spinning when i opened my eyes. I think my eyes felt swollen and heavy too. Not much energy in me especially since i skipped breakfast to get to lecture in time as I couldn't dragged myself out of bed early enough. I think the lack of expressions in my face created the wrong impression again.
"Are you angry??"
"Angry??" *question marks surrounded my oredi dizzy head* A simple "No..." is all i can afford.
"No lah... she's just sick that's all." Phew.. thank goodness someone else helped me to explain.
Yeah... another misunderstanding. I was a little surprised that i looked angrier than weak. Felt a little embarrassed, but comforted. At least this friend bothered asking and gave me the chance to clarify, instead of juz walking away thinking i was some weird freak. Thanx for asking. =) Thanx to the other friend too, for being so understanding. ;)
signing off @ 3:53 am with
Saturday, March 04, 2006
PIE / SpoiltEverytime when i was watching a play, once in a while there'll always be this random thought wondering what if I were the one on stage. The desire to be acting under the strong spot-lights on a stage would start burning again. I loved the stage since I was young... I once fought in order to be available if given the chance to go on stage... I loved the feeling to be on a stage. That feeling is still present. But growing 'older' made me hold back. The realization of my lack of talent lead to my lack of confidence... slowly the inertia grew, and now I'm just another person in the audience seat. Will i ever have a chance to stand on the stage again, following a script that i can submit to?
It is this passion that keeps me going in watching more plays and dramas, hoping that i can be like them one day.
I watched PIE/spoilt today. It is a great improvement from last year... at least now there is a stage with curtains, and the audience seats are cushioned. haha... The actors are superb too, and having a great script must have helped alot.
I like both plays alot. I like this method of presenting the story. Though it's in bits and pieces lying around here and there, the eventual fixing together, in a way, 'enlightens' you and makes you realize the meaning behind all the previous scenes and also, sometimes, the significance of the seemingly meaningless parts. This kind of play requires your full attention and after finding out the full story, after figuring out the meaning hidden in it, it will leave you thinking more... about how it applies in your real life. The many layers hidden behind one another is what makes this kind of script so interesting and intriguing.
I must praise the scriptwriter for his ability to fuse issues of different aspects together. Not sure if i'm thinking a little too much there, but he did a good job in PIE in mixing relationships, politics, human nature, and history together. I am impressed. SPL definitely did the right thing in using his scripts for the two plays. =)
signing off @ 9:50 am with
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Happy Birthday Chongwai!!To save my busy dear the time to blog... Here's an entry on "behalf" of him!!!
The entire celebration was very last-minute and rushed, because Chongwai decided only three days ago to surprise the organisers by not attending the surprise celebrations planned for him. Hence after a period of sweatdrops and immediate mass emailing, here is what happened eventually:
A 'household' dinner was to be had at Addies Thai Cafe @ Earls Court in order to satisfy Chongwai's craving and request for Thai food. It was supposed to be a 'household' event until Raymond called CW at 7pm asking him what time the dinner would be. And b4 that, Klement informed him during Spanish lesson that he would be joining us after dinner. So much for all the surprises. haha..
The happy birthday boy, who was unaware of the waiting camera, turned his head with his smile ready. =)
Luckily, the surprises didn't run out. I guess the most surprising ting for him that night, was the appearance of his very good RJ friends (who were in US). haha.. Thanx to John, for getting them down for the dinner. =)
After the yummylicious meal, we headed home for the expected half of the celebration: cake-cutting!! Presenting the cake~ Happy 22nd (or 5.5??) Birthday to Chongwai!!
Then the group pictures:
Rafflesians...
... Londoners...
... Europeans...
... and the comical Flat-8-41-Gloucester-Rd-ers... as usual. -_-"
At last.. the cutting of the birthday cake!!! YAY!! The chocolate cake was superb man... only thing is that it's too small cos that's the biggest one available when i bought it. =( Was thinking of buying another one but i tink it seemed a little weird for pple to have 2 small slices of different cake. Hence... i just settled for this. If anyone would like to have the same cake, go to the Bagatelle Boutique opposite Queens Gate 88 along Harrington Road. Good stuff!!!
And then... the present presentation...
with the slightly funnier version. =P
Finally... thanx to zhifeng and household for coming over after watching mamma mia to make pancakes for us (bcos it happened to be pancake day too)!!! Making the pancake mixture from scratch, I think it is very well done!!! I had so much of it that I was so bloated. >_< This was taken after everyone had their fill... haha... It looked quite messy but that's bcos it was so good everybody just anyhow grab and eat!!
And that's all folks! I was soooo tired and sleeping at 4am didn't help much. That's why today I woke up with a heavy head at 12.40pm with a slight headache. But that's ok.... as long as you had a great time. ^^
