sighi've been home for a week. it's great to be back at home~ home as in my house home, but otherwise, i'm not totally enjoying home.
10.5 months away from spore.. the longest i've ever been away. i missed it so much more than i've ever had, and the joy in stepping on its ground is alot more too. but these few days, i'm not really enjoying myself. probably cos i'm too tired? probably cos i've been put into a new environment? i duno but i'm not liking the culture at all.
i feel suffocated. i feel the need to blend in with the surroundings. i feel i'm constantly being judged by people. i dun feel welcome. i am not happy.
i was so looking forward to seeing my old friends, or even to start 'afresh' with a few whom i've lost contact with long ago. i tried to.. 'open up'. but disappointment after disappointment. i guess i've myself to blame... for losing the ability to converse. i simply cant hold a conversation for long. sometimes i cant even think of any topic to start one. i've become a boring person.
oh well.