Posting again after 1 yr 2 mths2017 whizzed past in a blur, and it's already a quarter into 2018.
I don't rmb much about 2017, other than the fact that I was so much happier that everyone who had met me said I looked different. That i am back to the old cheerful self.
I agree. My standard reply to anyone who asked about me would be ''Good!", "I'm much happier now.". I am so thankful for the posting which was a godsend, which turned my life around and gave my sanity back to me.
It wasn't an easy posting - given my lack of civil background and having no dealings with this area of work in the organisation before. I had even less knowledge than a fresh graduate, yet was expected to lead and provide guidance to a team. Not only do I lack the domain expertise, I also struggled with establishing my role in this slightly more senior position - do I still get my hands dirty and work on the nitty gritty or should i simply have oversight and serve an advisory and management role? The learning curve was so steep and I felt so inadequate that I questioned why the bosses think I could assume this position, and whenever I signed off email replies with my designation stated clearly under my name, I felt a little hesitant and anxious that I might not appear to be deserving of this designation.
I was really stressed about it and my dear hubby advised me to give myself 6 months to pick up and settle in. I did that, and it was indeed much better after 6 months, though I would say I've only understood the bare minimum and there were still lots of times when I was lost. What made the transition so much easier was because I had very supportive bosses and colleagues and a team which was competent and co-operative such that I had the luxury of space and time to 'learn' instead of 'drown'. They were so encouraging and supportive, that I sometimes felt that I am not performing my role adequately and not pushing myself hard enough. Nonetheless, I was really lucky to have landed myself into such a caring team of co-workers. (such a huge contrast from my previous posting)
However I had to move again next month, just after 1 year and 2 months into this current job. I understand the move is necessary from a longer term perspective, as we need to start getting rooted to an anchor area where we will focus in and assume even more senior roles. I also felt like I can't be in my current area of work for long, unless I further my studies in civil engineering and hydraulics to attain the proper qualifications and knowledge required. Still.. it felt a little wasted that I had to go when I have only just started to understand what I am doing and could start making useful contribution. I am also very apologetic to my team, who had gone through one rough year of having to explain and educate me instead of getting guidance from me, and they now have to repeat the whole process again. Luckily my replacement is a nice chap, and i think he will be staying on for a while.
As for my next posting, I will be returning to a previous department so it would not be unfamiliar territory. Very thankful to our lady DHR, who took the effort to engage me in my preference, and understandingly placed me in a relatively less stressful place so that I could have some breathing space in hope of contributing to the nation's fertility rate. I am excited about it, and I think this time round I will be in for the long haul. I better put my foot down and seriously work on it. Time to take ownership and be more confident in myself.